


Get Down To Business (And Skip Foreplay)

by swedetastic



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: M/M, Originally Posted on LiveJournal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-11
Updated: 2013-11-11
Packaged: 2018-01-01 04:19:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1040259
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swedetastic/pseuds/swedetastic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically Eames plays the unwitting matchmaker to Arthur and Cobb.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Get Down To Business (And Skip Foreplay)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the lovely [](http://epicflailer.livejournal.com/profile)[**epicflailer**](http://epicflailer.livejournal.com/) for this kink meme prompt [here.](http://community.livejournal.com/inception_kink/9327.html?thread=16712815#t16712815) One of these days I'll write an Arthur/Cobb fill that doesn't involve Eames. /sigh/ But this prompt was just too juicy to pass up!

“You really are a stick-in-the-mud. Do you even _date_?”

Arthur looks back at the other man incredulously (of course he goes out sometimes, he’s not quite that pathetic), and then just gives him the simple raise of an eyebrow. “Yes. When I have time.”

Eames scoffs, waves his hand in the air in a dismissive gesture. “Really, I don’t believe it. I mean, do you believe this guy, Cobb?”

Cobb’s back is to them, facing the whiteboard where he was writing some ‘important’ information about their latest mark, and it appeared he was doing his best to dutifully ignore both of them. “Leave it alone, Eames,” is his reply without even turning around. “We have work to do.”

“Sheesh, what a pair you two make,” Eames comments. “You’re both absolutely no fun.”

Arthur gives a shrug and then continues to pointedly ignore Eames’ statement, as he asks Cobb a question about their mark’s habits.

Eames notices Arthur’s intense stare as their boss continues to lecture them, and how his grip on his pencil falters as he takes notes in that funny little notebook of his, and makes a note to tease Arthur about it later. There’s something going on here, definitely, but Eames can’t quite put his finger on it yet.

\- - -

“So I have a question for you, love. If you do in fact date, how come you won’t go on a date with me?” Eames asks Arthur later when they’re supposed to be working, but they are alone together so Eames doesn’t want to pass up the opportunity to harass Arthur some more.

“How about, I really don’t like you very much?” he snaps.

“Well, that’s one possible reason. Though it really isn’t a very good excuse.” When Arthur looks at him in confusion, Eames expounds on his reasoning. “How can you be sure you don’t like me without going out with me first? I could turn your whole world upside down.”

“I’m sure there are lots of things you could do,” Arthur says. “I’m just not interested.”

Eames nods and decides to let it go, for now. He’ll have to save the big guns for a later time. “Your loss,” he tells him, as Cobb slams open the door of the current dingy warehouse they’ve been working in. He’s clearly upset about something, and all Eames can thing is _great, here we go again._

“We need to talk, Eames,” Cobb enunciates in a voice closer to yelling than to any kind of indoor conversational tone.

Arthur mouths _your turn_ and gives him a smirk. Some day he’ll wipe that smirk off the other man’s face.

\- - -

Eames waits a week, biding his time, observing every possible idiosyncrasy that the point man exhibits in the hope of weaving it into some form of seduction.

Arthur doesn’t give him much to work with.

He’s just so plain, so vanilla, but still with an understated sense of mystery that is driving Eames slowly crazy. But there had never been a safe he couldn’t crack, no personality that he couldn’t forge, and so this should be no different. Arthur barely looks at him with anything more than disdain when he speaks, though; so Eames decides it’s about time that he goes a little deeper.

He brings Arthur coffee. Every simple guy enjoys coffee, right?

When Eames passes him the cup Arthur takes two sniffs of the liquid, grimaces, and finally asks, “What is this, Eames?”

“It’s coffee, of course. You’ve heard of coffee, haven’t you?”

“I don’t drink coffee,” he states, handing the cup back to him. Eames frowns, then pouts, and soon he’s feeling rather pissed off. The drink had cost him money and the coffee shop he went to wasn’t exactly on his way to the warehouse. This was the last time he’d buy someone else a fancy latté.

He sneaks a look at Cobb who has an amused expression on his face, his smile wide and his eyebrows practically climbing his forehead. Eames could slap him if he didn’t know it would end in a very awkward working relationship. Still, he really really wants to hit Cobb.

Instead Eames leans closer to Arthur, invading his personal space, and drops his voice to a dangerously low decibel. He’s had enough of the games. It’s now or never, and it’s about time he turned on the irresistible charm that had never failed him before. “Look, pet. You need to relax, take a day off. Let’s go out tonight, you and me.” He whispers this last part close to Arthur’s ear, and only a robot would be able to resist that. He should know; he’s tried it on robots before and gotten nowhere.

“Like a date?”

Eames grins. “Yeah, something like a date.”

Arthur hesitates, he can see it. Maybe he’s finally succeeded in cracking that hard shell. Eventually he answers, “Listen Eames, I’m kind of seeing someone.”

The façade shatters. “Oh yeah? Who?” he asks, not bothering to hide the hint of jealousy in his voice.

Arthur frowns. “Uh…” he starts, pauses, and looks to Cobb. Oh, God, no. “I’m with Cobb.”

Cobb looks back at him with a start, eyes wide, expression shocked no doubt because Arthur has given the game away. And suddenly it all makes sense. All that buildup between them that’s led absolutely nowhere. Of _course_ he’s with Cobb, the question is why didn’t Eames recognize it sooner?

“Oh. I’m sure you two will be very happy together,” he says awkwardly, then promptly turns around to leave. Arthur is calling out his name, and Cobb is telling him they’re not done yet going over the dream design for their next job, but Eames walks out while their voices echo around the building. He is sure they can get on just fine without him.

Eames knows rejection when he sees it.

\- - -

The next time they’re working together, Eames decides to keep his mouth shut as he goes about his job. This time he watches Arthur and Cobb together, how they interact, how they move together, everything. Everything he’s noticed but never really paid attention to before.

Like how Cobb claps a hand on Arthur’s back when the point man says something dry that supposedly is going to be helpful to them in their mission. Or how Cobb leans over Arthur while he’s going over the blueprints of the dreamscape, leaning much closer to him than is necessary and grinning when Arthur points out some minuscule detail that he hadn't noticed before.

Eames sees it in the way Arthur keeps finishing Cobb’s sentences, or how Arthur looks to Cobb for approval on just about everything. “Can we go to the bar to scope out the mark in his natural habitat, Dom? Can I wear this tie with this shirt, Dom? _Can I go to the bathroom now, Dom?_ ” God it’s sickening, and yet sweet in a creepy, obsessive, they've been together for far too long kind of way.

It’s all fine and it’s whatever, Eames will keep on his shameless flirting but he’s not one to seriously step on someone else’s territory. Cobb doesn't seem to mind him too much and Arthur just continues to do his best to ignore him. Eames doesn't mind; this is the way he is and he doesn't plan on changing his personality any time soon.

It’s all cool until one day when Cobb brings some drink for Arthur, and Arthur grabs the styrofoam cup happily and is grinning from ear to ear as he says thank you. And that’s it, Eames can’t take it anymore. He wouldn’t be so angry if it wasn't for the fact that the side of the cup has the same logo as the coffee place he went to a couple weeks ago.

So he pulls Arthur aside by the sleeve of his dress shirt, hard, and demands to know what that is all about.

“What do you mean?” Arthur asks innocently.

“The coffee? Your shitfaced grin when Cobb brought it to you? If you’ll recall, you told me you don’t drink coffee.”

Arthur shakes his head, confused. “That’s because it’s not coffee. It’s chai tea, with whipped cream. Just like I like it.”

“Jesus, you two are so married.” The words slip out of his mouth before he can stop them.

Arthur looks like a deer caught in headlights, and Eames breaks into a grin. It is so much fun to ruffle the controlled point man’s feathers.

\- - -

After they’re done for the night and Eames has left to go get a nightcap somewhere, Arthur finishes packing his things and looks to Cobb for the nod that tells him he’s allowed to leave.

Instead of giving him the nod as usual, Cobb approaches him and just stares for a moment, as if he’s trying to see _through_ Arthur. It’s unnerving, and finally Arthur has to break the silence. “Can I help you with something?”

“I was simply wondering how long you wanted to pretend that we’re dating for Eames’ benefit.”

“Well, uh, I mean… I can tell him the truth, if you want. I didn’t mean to lie, I just panicked and said the first thing that came to mind. I’m sor-”

“Arthur,” he interrupts him. “It’s okay, I don’t mind. I get it, I do.”

“Okay, good,” he responds, his mouth turning up in an uneasy smile. What he truly wants is to ask Cobb if they’re pretending, really. Because it’s true they haven’t been out on an official date together or anything like that, but they have spent an inordinate amount of time together and clearly they know more about each other than anyone else seems to. He wants to ask but the words die on his tongue in a rush of cowardice.

Then he doesn't have to.

“We don’t have to pretend,” Cobb says. “You know, if you actually want to try it.”

Arthur almost chokes on his own breath. “Yes,” Arthur spits out, just a tad too enthusiastic. “I mean yeah, I’d like that. What do we do, should we go out to dinner or something?”

“I think we can do one better than that. Skip dinner and go straight to the awkward follow-up.”

“Oh?” And Arthur doesn't get to ask what that is, because in the next moment he’s finding out. Cobb is kissing him, and it feels like coming home.

He’ll have to remember to thank Eames tomorrow, somehow without revealing what he’s thanking him for.

 

 

 


End file.
